BY AARDE WRITES for WEEKLY VOLCANO 11/14/25 |
Hey Aarde,
My social feeds are overflowing with video shorts of women embracing their grays, slow-motion hair flips in expensive salons, as if they have reached some enlightened, silver-fox nirvana. Meanwhile, I have been dyeing my hair black since the dawn of civilization. And let me tell you, this is a daunting idea to consider. That black hair dye has been my armor, my signature, my “don’t mess with me” banner for over three decades. But good grief, the upkeep, the appointments, the money, the emotional trauma of seeing half an inch of aging evidence peeking through every six weeks. My hair is worn out, and honestly? So am I. My exposed roots highlight how tired I am. I’m tired of feeling like I have somehow slipped into the background music of life. But then I wonder, if I already feel overlooked, what happens if I go full silver? Do I just fade into the wallpaper endlessly? Should I start practicing my “wise crone in the corner” look, or maybe lean into it all and dare to toss the dye?
Signed,
Rebellious Roots
Hey Rebellious Roots,
Can we admit it’s not just about hair, right? In the year 2025, women still live in the narrow mold of man’s design. Is that changing? Sure. Quickly? No. Our entire system is built on either existing within the illusion of eternal youth or settling into the quiet resolve of those deemed obsolete. We have been, and still are, told to always present a fruitful reproductive glow, regardless of the fact that we have spent decades emptying ourselves of eggs and now spend our evenings darning our socks.
It takes courage to adapt to a new identity and to feel confident when presenting the wisdom that can only come from a life well lived to the world, regardless of the judgment and dismissal that may cruelly follow. Going silver does not mean fading into the wallpaper forever forgotten. By choosing to embrace the evidence of aging, you are showing the bravest face of acceptance of a phase that some are not lucky enough to experience.
Now is a good time for you to meet an ethereal character I have named Seraphine Vale, the archetype of the Wise Enchantress, a woman who moves through the world like moonlight, quiet yet impossible to ignore, illuminating paths in the darkest of places. Untamed, softened, emanating wisdom so boldly that people lean in when she speaks. She has seen it all and lived audaciously; she has danced with storms and is intentional with the changing weight of each step. She possesses a powerful stillness, an unspoken invitation that carries a seductive quality in her ease. She has turned time into her ally, no longer seeking approval, only truth and love.
Your dyed-black hair has been your flying banner of defiance for all to see, your armor, but armor, no matter how necessary, eventually gets heavy. Its weight does not come from what it protects but from what it resists: the inevitable, the ancient, unyielding truth that nothing stays unchanged. All seasons come. No armor can beat it. You wear it as an attempt to control time; each touch-up is an act of defiance, a rebellion to your mortality.
However, when you decide to put down your armor, you reveal a paradox: softness comes as strength, visibility through authenticity, and the commanding attention of an alluring, enigmatic woman who has too many stories to tell, all of them offering something that you cannot get anywhere else. You have more to offer the world than youth and beauty now. You are a film still unfolding, rich with plot twists, challenges, and hard-won wisdom. You are fortunate to be here, getting the opportunity to proceed in this life, collecting trinkets, savoring tea and cakes, and breathing in the morning air. And this transformation is not just metaphorical; it happens physically, strand by strand, moment by moment.
I like to think about a lifespan as one full year of seasons. (I suggest picking up a copy of Wintering by Katherine May.) You are allowed to mourn. You are allowed a moment to reflect on the shifting season of your life, the eternal, universal balancing act of spring to winter, how each stage feeds the next, and how much energy and reciprocation it takes to move from one to the other. Just as you are allowed to mourn productive past seasons, you are also allowed, and encouraged, to celebrate and honor the magic of the new season. Each season of your life deserves reverence. You are not leaving spring behind; you are gathering its warmth to carry through winter.
Now, for the less philosophical answer: remember all the twenty-somethings who were paying hundreds of dollars and spending endless hours in salon chairs to stay on trend by “going gray” over the last few years? Spend the money, sit in the chair, and allow yourself to trust a professional to make the transition a little less traumatic. I’m saying, pay the hair artist what it’s worth to rewrite your next chapter. They can work magic, and you will quickly find that without the constant upkeep, you open up a whole new era of life for yourself. Find a stylist with experience in this specific process, read the reviews, and ensure they understand that this is not vanity; it’s metamorphosis. The moment you stop covering, you start unveiling the woman you have become. When you meet your reflection again, look deeper than the silver and the skin. See the woman who has lived, learned, and dared. See the story still being written. Don’t look at it as a retreat; reframe it as a rebirth.
Surrendering to Seraphine is not about giving up; it’s about evolving into luminosity. What was once black, absorbing and swallowing, is now silver, reflecting the past, present, and future. And if you listen closely, you might hear Seraphine Vale whisper, “Your silver strands aren’t surrender; they’re spellwork.”
Got a question for Ask Aarde? Send your questions to: Jdaarde@gmail.com
