By AARDE WRITES for WEEKLY VOLCANO 2/27/26 |
Hey Aarde,
I’ll get straight to my question. Why don’t men seem mad enough? I’m talking about the Epstein files, the corruption, the abuse, the whole thing.
Signed,
Ultimately Gutted
Hey Ultimately Gutted,
This unraveling has really shattered the illusion, hasn’t it? The truth is, almost every woman already knew and lived in this reality. We’ve endured decades of abuse, belittlement, and control by our fathers, our brothers, our partners, our bosses, our teachers, our preachers, and our doctors.
Women have held space, gathering around sewing and prayer circles, in kitchens and fields, whispering truths, exchanging knowing glances, and breathing hushed protections since the dawn of time. We have found safety within the walls of sisterhood. We’ve learned to read the room to survive it.
Men, on the other hand, were never taught to gather this way. They were often taught to control the room or be crushed by it. They were starved of soul medicine and told to stand alone to show strength. To hide grief and pain deep within the recesses of their very core. They have been left without language and without a place to lay the truth down.
Men, who are victims too, often carry their abuse in silence, existing for decades in a culture where masculinity is policed and queerness is scrutinized, which can fracture and calcify into lifelong shame. A violation that isn’t just physical can shatter identity and self-trust. This doesn’t excuse harm, but it explains the systemic roots of some of their current behavior.
Of course, many men are tired of inheriting this script. Men who feel the ache of disconnection, men who can express their anger at the depravity, connecting with the vulgarity of it all. Men who want to unlearn domination and relearn belonging. Still, it doesn’t seem like enough, and that’s what’s hitting women twofold: one, doubt that it will ever change; and two, the reiteration that women are not in control and must rely on men to do the work.
Now, if we follow this thread honestly, we may have to admit that some who go on to harm others are operating from that same calcified shame, pain buried so deeply that it ferments. A glitch in our compassion, acceptance that when shame is pushed down so forcefully, it mutates into a form of vitriolic malignity. Compassion asks us to see this. But compassion is not the same as absolution.
The call for men is to acknowledge wounds and refuse to pass them on. It is men’s moral and practical responsibility; it is not optional. To risk softness. To seek therapy, brotherhood, accountability, and community. To learn the language of feeling beyond anger. To not ask women to do this work for them. To refuse the covering up of such acts, to refrain from eroticizing the rapaciousness. To know that women are not going to excuse men any longer. They will not mother their morals. They will no longer absorb your pain and curtail the atmosphere.
Women are in a state of defeat and disbelief, leading them straight into a diabolical rage. If you haven’t read The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood, I suggest you do that now. You can also watch the television show, whichever way it takes to witness the strength of gathered women to use as a template.
This conversation is not about flipping a hierarchy. It is not about centering women over men. Matriarchy, at its healthiest conception, is about focusing on the well-being of children and the health of the next generation and organizing society around the care and safety of children. When men heal, children benefit. When women hold boundaries with compassion, children benefit. When gender-diverse people are affirmed and protected, children benefit. A truly matriarchal ethic asks: Are the children safe? Are they nourished? Are they witnessing healthy love?
Once men see the value of their role in this crusade alongside women who have carried the weight for far too long, they can plant their feet firmly into the soil of our children’s future. Real change can happen, but it has to be strategic, disciplined, and grounded in truth, not just outrage. If we are serious about dismantling systems that enable exploitation, then men and women, all of us, have to do more than just repost Instagram stories into the echo chamber of exasperated indignation. Men’s distinct role is to operate morally within rooms that women never enter. Men must confront exploitative behavior within male spaces: locker rooms, boardrooms, courtrooms, and online forums. Intervene. Refuse to laugh. Refuse to normalize degradation.
We are all active witnesses to the many countries around the world that are holding these perpetrators accountable, crucially showing that men are participating as investigators and advocates and proving that healed masculinity can support a society focused on protecting the vulnerable, with stronger laws, international investigations, asset seizures, and transparent prosecutions.
Here is what we need to do, together, for real change to take place: refuse silence. Support investigative journalism. Fund independent reporters. Protect whistleblowers. Organize. Coordinate civic pressure. Follow the money. Boycott targeted corporations. Practice shareholder activism through redirection. Get your passport. Vote. Demand accountability. Strengthen culture. Normalize believing survivors. Fund trauma recovery. Teach children bodily autonomy. Talk openly about consent. Repeat, ad nauseam.
If exploitation is global, then so is solidarity, but solidarity must be disciplined, informed, and lawful to endure. The question is not only how to punish perpetrators but also how to build a culture where they cannot so easily rise in the first place. We are already seeing the groundswell of courageous men and women who are acting bravely. Countries are prosecuting. Survivors are speaking loudly. Our worldwide culture is shifting before our eyes.
Women, even in our exhaustion, now is not the time to lie down with resentment. For the sake of our children and the generations rising behind them, let us steady ourselves just a little longer. Let us support the men who are willing to stand, showing them the power they hold to create change and resisting the urge to indict and condemn them. Let us not blur the urgent call for their courage beside us.
