Q: Hey Aarde,

How do I make friends with other parents at my kid’s school? It seems like the only opportunities are during dropoff and pickup times, and the parents are either already talking to each other or deep in their phones while they wait. I don’t know how to approach them without coming off as a weirdo.

-Lonely Parent

A: Lonely Parent,

Most importantly, you’re not alone. Being a mother of a child who successfully made it through the K-12 journey, I can relate and validate. Meeting school parents can feel kinda icky, due to there being so many possibly outcomes. But there is hope!

As I’m sure you are aware, eye contact paired with a genuine smile extended to any passing parent can set up a welcoming connection in the future.

You are not a robot, and the parents you want to have as friends won’t judge you if you’re having a disheveled pickup or dropoff. If they do, you don’t want them as friends anyways (say that part to yourself in a mirror.)

You can ask the school office attendant if there are any parental committees, volunteering opportunities, or clubs that you can join. Maybe sign up early in the year to be a field trip chaperone—there are normally two or more parents at these types of events. If you live close enough, walking your kid to school provides more opportunities to converse with other walking families.

After school, stick around when the kids get their afternoon jitters out on the playground—you’re bound to find an opportunity to strike up a conversation with the other parents. Compliment another parent on their choice of shoes, or ask them if they’ve been to a new local kid-friendly hangout. Oh! Go to kid-friendly hangouts like 7 Seas Brewery and Taproom, E9 Firehouse and Gastropub, Dusty’s Hideaway, State Street Beer Company, or the Antique Sandwich Company.

If you’re feeling really confident, you can prepare little swag bags, snack bags, or hell, even lottery tickets accompanied by a card that says, “Solo parent ISO family playdates.”

Years ago, I made lavender wands and passed them out to the first ten parents who returned a smile; I made one solid mom friend out of that activity.

Do you make body products? Pass out some lip balm to the parents who are standing in line and staring at their phones. Do you like board games? Pass out invitations for a family board game night in the side room at Knapp’s on Proctor! You are the CEO of your family, so get creative!

Whatever you do, please remember that not every parent is going to want to be your friend, and that you don’t want every parent to be your friend. It’s quality over quantity here, for you and your kids.

-Aarde

Do you have a burning question you need advice about? Reach out via email to jdaarde@gmail.com or on via Instagram handle ‘aarde_writes.’